The Unmuted Truth #14: I’m Tired of Being the Strong One
- Nina Stanyer
- Oct 27
- 5 min read
For Everyone Who Was Taught To Whisper
By Nina, Identity and Boundaries Coach
If you missed the beginning of this series, you can read The Unmuted Truth #1 here
The Truth Hidden Inside “I’m Fine”
There’s a quiet rebellion happening – not on picket lines or protest signs, but inside kitchens and cars and bedrooms late at night.
It’s not loud. It doesn’t throw plates or slam doors.
It simply whispers one sentence into the bones of women who have spent decades being dependable:
“I can’t keep doing this.”
Not because they’re weak.
Not because they’re failing.
But because the role they were praised for – strong, capable, unbreakable – has become a kind of captivity.
The world calls it burnout.
But I don’t think that’s what it is.
It’s the moment a woman realises that being needed is not the same as being seen.
When Carrying Everyone Else Becomes Too Heavy
We learned early – explicitly or silently – that our worth was measured by what we carried for others.
We became the reliable one.
The emotional scaffolding.
The woman who could be counted on.
Until “strong” became the only language people responded to – and the only identity we knew how to wear.
But somewhere, somehow, something shifts.
The fog lifts.
The body says no more.
The soul says now or never.
And suddenly the question appears – clear, terrifying, holy:
“What would happen if I stopped being everything for everyone?”
Not out of rage.
Not out of abandonment.
But out of a radical, sacred decision to choose self-respect over self-erasure.
The Quiet Power of Finally Being Honest
This is not collapse.
This is awakening.
Not “midlife crisis.”
Midlife clarity.
The women I’m speaking to won’t torch their lives.
They won’t announce their rebellion.
They will simply – quietly, steadily – begin telling the truth.
“I don’t want to hold everyone else together anymore.”
“I’m lonely in rooms full of people.”
“I’m tired of earning love through usefulness.”
“I’m tired of keeping the peace that costs me my own.”
“I miss myself.”
The Moment You Start Listening to Yourself Again
At first, it feels almost wrong.
To pause before saying yes.
To let the phone ring out.
To rest when there’s still washing to fold or emails to answer.
You’ve spent so long being tuned to everyone else’s frequency that silence feels selfish.
But slowly – quietly – something shifts.
You start noticing your own signals again.
The flutter in your chest when a boundary is crossed.
The warmth that rises when something feels true.
The exhaustion that arrives the moment you pretend.
You begin to ask small, radical questions:
What do I need?
What do I want?
What do I actually feel?
Where am I in all of this?
And in those questions, the voice that’s been buried for years begins to hum again – steady, soft, certain.
It doesn’t demand.
It doesn’t explain.
It simply reminds you:
You’re allowed to belong to yourself, too.
The Soft Rebuilding of a Life That Fits
There’s no grand plan.
No ten-step guide.
Just a slow returning to what feels like peace.
You start moving differently through your days – slower, steadier, softer.
You say no without apology.
You say yes with your whole body.
And somewhere in the middle, the world begins to feel a little more honest again.
You rebuild, not from ambition, but from alignment.
From the small things that make you breathe easier – morning light, unhurried meals,
conversations that don’t drain you.
You stop chasing balance like a prize and start creating it one boundary, one breath, one truth, one moment at a time.
This isn’t a new version of you.
It’s the same you, finally unclenched.
Still strong – just no longer armour-plated.
You Don’t Have to Burn Your Life Down to Reclaim It
If you’re feeling this too – you are not broken.
You’re simply standing at the threshold between depletion and becoming.
You don’t have to start over.
You don’t have to prove anything.
You don’t have to make anyone understand.
You don’t have to keep proving the pain was real to begin healing.
You can stop watching for danger and start listening for peace.
You just have to stop pretending you’re fine.
That’s where the healing begins – not in the chaos, but in the choosing.
In the quiet refusal to keep abandoning yourself.
No roar required.
Just one honest breath.
One true word.
One small act of self-respect at a time.
That’s how women like us rebuild – not through fire, but through truth.
💜 From My Heart to Yours
If these words found you somewhere between holding on and letting go – take a breath.
You don’t have to carry it all anymore.
Not the expectations.
Not the noise.
Not the weight of being everyone’s steady place.
Start with one quiet truth.
One gentle act of listening to yourself.
And let that be enough for today.
Because you are not here to be endlessly strong –you are here to be real, to be seen, to be free.
Every pause you take, every honest “no more” you whisper,
is not weakness.
It’s the sound of your soul coming home.
🌸 Feeling the weight of always being the strong one?
From Strong to Steady is a calm, reflective guide to help you loosen the armour, breathe again, and rediscover the woman beneath the strength.
If you’re on your own journey to find your voice, you’re invited to stay connected:
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You can read more about my journey here
With love,
Nina 💜🌹
"Strength taught me how to survive. Stillness taught me how to live."
Being strong for everyone else is so hard. Sometimes I just want to get up and walk away - but I know I never would. I feel the weight of what is expected of me. I actually did download your guide and there are some thoughtful questions in there that I will explore. Thank you 🥰