The Unmuted Truth #6: You’re Already Doing It: Sitting With Presence

For Everyone Who Was Taught To Whisper

By Nina, Transformational Mindset Coach

If you missed the beginning of this series, you can read The Unmuted Truth #1 here

Opening Reflection: Sitting With Presence A Moment to Breathe

There is something I wanted to touch on today that I hope will help you in moments of overwhelm, confusion and painful emotions.

Presence.

It’s a word that floats through healing spaces like incense—soft, sacred, and often misunderstood.

We’re told to “be present,” but no one really explains what that means when your thoughts are spiralling or your chest feels tight.

When we are encouraged to ‘sit with it’ - Presence becomes another pressure, another thing to “get right.”

But what if we softened the meaning?

What if presence wasn’t a performance—but a pause?

This realisation landed in me during a journaling moment—messy handwriting, tea gone cold, heart a little tender. I scanned my scribbled, tear stained words and noticed one that was thickly underlined -

‘Presence.’ 

Only – it felt different. Not a command. A reminder.

And in that quiet moment, I knew—I was already doing it.

I was sitting with what was.

Not what I wished it could be.

Not what I feared it meant.

Just… what was.

I wasn’t fixing it, wrapping it in logic or solutions.

I wasn’t fleeing from it, numbing or distracting myself.

I was letting the moment exist without interference—without judgment.

Letting me exist, just as I was.

And that—that is presence.

The gentle, ordinary, radical act of being with yourself without needing to change a thing.

I know that for many, this kind of connection can feel foreign.

When you’ve spent years—maybe decades—pushing parts of yourself down,

when emotions feel dangerous,

when your thoughts spin so fast you can’t tell what’s true or even yours...presence doesn’t feel like a peaceful place.

It feels like stepping into unfamiliar territory—quiet, raw, uncertain.

And still... it is a beginning.

A homecoming.

A brave, beautiful first breath.

So often, I see this with my clients too. They come to the page reluctantly. Journaling can feel exposing, unfamiliar, uncomfortable. They worry they’re doing it wrong. But somewhere between the words and the breath, presence begins to emerge.

Not always pretty. Not always peaceful. But present. And that is more than enough.

Let this be a love letter to that version of presence.

The one that lives in your scribbled notes, your deep sighs, your gentle awareness of the moment you're in—however imperfect it may feel.

'The gentle, ordinary, radical act of being with yourself without needing to change a thing.'

Sitting with Presence: What It Actually Looks Like

So if it’s not about being perfectly still, and it’s not about having all the answers…what is it?

Presence is ordinary.

Sacred, yes—but in a very human way.

It’s breathing into a tight chest without needing to explain why it’s tight today.

It’s letting your shoulders drop, even if your thoughts are still racing.

It’s noticing the tears in your eyes before deciding what they mean.

Presence is…

🧘‍♀️ Letting the question be enough—without forcing the answer.

🧘‍♀️ Breathing into your body without needing to explain why it’s tense today.

🧘‍♀️ Naming what’s real, right now, without reshaping it to make others more comfortable.

🧘‍♀️ Listening, not to solve—but to soften.

Sometimes it’s found in a journal, in the way your pen slows mid-sentence because the emotion finally catches up with the words.

Sometimes it’s found in a walk, a sigh, a moment of stillness that didn’t ask for anything from you.

It doesn’t require you to be wise or calm or healed.

It just asks you to stay—with whatever is here.

And even if it’s just for a moment…

that’s enough.

You’re already doing it.

'Letting the question be enough—without forcing the answer.'

Personal Growth: What Gets in the Way?

Even when we know what presence looks like, actually choosing it can be hard.

Why? Because most of us have been trained to do, not be.

To fix. Solve. Understand. Control.

But in both my personal growth and in my work with clients, I’ve learned this:

You can’t force clarity.

You can’t wrestle insight into arriving.

Trying to push for an answer often creates more noise—not less.

There was a time in my journey where I found myself unusually agitated. Nothing was working. I felt like I was suffocating in my own skin. I journaled, meditated, processed… and still, nothing shifted.

I remember trying so hard to figure it out, to name what was going on so I could make it stop. But no answer came.

Until I stopped pushing.

Until I sat down—not to fix, but to feel.

I let the frustration rise. I felt it in my chest, my jaw, my fists. I cried. I vented. I let it shake through me.

And somewhere in that raw stillness, I realised—

I was frustrated because I was being called to stop. To sit. And I couldn’t.

I had too much to do. Too much pressure.

But the answer didn’t come through thought. It came through being with what was.

This is something I now see often in my clients. They come searching for answers, hoping for an aha moment—but the deeper invitation is to become curious about the question itself.

There’s a world of difference between asking:

❌ “Why am I so frustrated?”(said from the head, in panic, trying to fix)

and

🌿 “Why am I so frustrated?”(asked from the body, in stillness, with presence)

The first builds pressure. The second builds space.

That’s where the magic lies.

Not in the chase for meaning—but in the willingness to be with what’s true until the meaning reveals itself.

'Trying to push for an answer often creates more noise—not less.'

Emotional Healing: You’re Already Doing It

Presence isn’t a destination.

It’s not something you master and check off.

It’s not a moment of perfection.

It’s a choice. A pause. A breath. A willingness.

And maybe, just by reading this, you’ve taken that pause.

Maybe something softened. Maybe something stirred.

Maybe you noticed your breath. Or your shoulders. Or your heart.

Maybe you felt… you.

If so—then you’re already doing it.

Not perfectly. Not constantly. But truthfully.

That is the work. That is the practice.

Not to become someone new…but to return to who you already are—beneath the noise, the fear, the doubt.

So if you find yourself grasping for answers,

rushing to fix, or spiralling in thought—

Pause.

Breathe.

And remember…

“You’re not behind. You’re not doing it wrong.

You’re here. And that is enough.”

'Presence a choice. A pause. A breath. A willingness.'

🌷From My Heart to Yours

To the part of you that feels unsure if you’re allowed to rest,

To the part that’s scared to feel too much,

To the part that was taught to run, perform, or disappear…

I see you.

And I honour you.

May you keep returning—gently, honestly, fully—to your breath, your body, your being.

And may you come to know, deep in your bones,

that presence isn’t something you earn.

It’s something you already are.

If you’ve ever felt like presence was something other people knew how to do…If you’ve felt broken for not being able to sit still or find calm…This is for you.

🕯️ You don’t need to feel peaceful to be present.

🕯️ You don’t need to be still to be worthy.

🕯️ You don’t need to fix yourself to be with yourself.

Place a hand over your heart.

Close your eyes.

Breathe.

Just for a moment…Be with what’s here.

That’s it.

That’s presence.

🫶 And I promise—you’re already doing it.

If you're on your own journey to find your voice, I invite you to stay connected:

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From My Heart to Yours,

Nina 💖💜

'Just for a moment…Be with what’s here.'