
Nina Stanyer
Mentor, Author & Creator of the PAUSE Philosophy™
You know something needs to change.
The hard part is knowing what comes next.
I help women make sense of what’s happening, work out what matters to them, and decide what belongs next.

Where Choice Begins

When Choice Stops Feeling Safe
Understanding coercive control from the inside
We know the statistics. We know domestic abuse exists.
But understanding coercive control asks us to look beyond awareness and consider what it can do to the ordinary act of choosing.
When Choice Stops Feeling Safe™ is a live, interactive facilitated presentation that takes audiences inside what decision-making can feel like when everyday choices have become tied to fear, consequence and someone else’s reactions.
What happens in the room
Through an ordinary supermarket decision, audience participation, physical cards and lived experience, the presentation explores how:
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simple choices can become loaded with consequence;
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the perpetrator’s voice can remain even when they are not present;
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questions from friends, family and services can add another layer of pressure;
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“Why didn’t they just leave?” can miss what choosing has come to mean.
Designed for real rooms
The full facilitated presentation runs for approximately 60 minutes, allowing time for audience participation, reflection and a deeper exploration of how coercive control can change the experience of choice - and how the responses of friends, family, community and services can influence what happens next.
Shorter introductory versions can also be delivered for meetings, conferences and speaking engagements. These offer a glimpse into the full experience where time is limited.
Before we ask why they didn’t choose differently, we need to understand what choosing has come to mean.
Interested in hosting this presentation?
If you’d like to explore bringing the full When Choice Stops Feeling Safe™ facilitated presentation to your organisation or community, I’d be happy to hear from you.